Rong's Blog!:)

Saturday, May 3, 2008

happiness

forgive me for this moment, i admit i'm being emotional. But it might be worth some thought.

him vs him.
gd financial ability vs low financial ability.
romantic vs non-romantic
sensitive vs non-sensitive
joyful vs .......(can't find a word for it)
stable career vs "haven't stepped into it" stage
thinks about future vs narrow mindset
very positive vs somewhat negative
mature in thinking vs [have not reached that level of maturity in his line of thoughts]
.
.
.
and the list goes on.

It's wrong to compare i know. i've made my choice and there's not turning back of cos.
Nevertheless, a question ponders in my mind.........
Why is that most of the time when i'm spending time with him, by the end of the day, i'm feel more upset, sadder, angry sometimes, dull, more bored than before the day started?
The emphasis is on the phrase "most of the time".

i often had to detach myself from my emotions, despite being really fustrated and angry, i calm down and think through how i want to talk to him about matters, [rationally].
i think, analyse, work out and work thru things together with him. before we "clear" every "stage" in the progress of our r/s.
but seriously, [God] knows it is very tiring mentally and emotionally.
i feel drained and tired out. All i need is a sense of joy and happiness i can receive from u. can u and will u give it to me?
it makes me think, do i still need to "search" for that happiness and joy. [i'm not referring to the happiness and joy i can receive from the Holy Spirit ok! Don't get me wrong...that one i have! LOL]
well well...>deep sigh<
i guess....pray lor. [haha i can almost hear my gd frens saying "yaya..pray pray!"]

I guess it was a bad time to chance upon the website, the pictures, the wedding.
i congratulated him. Don't get me wrong, i don't have feelings for him anymore. and i'm happy for him, really.
good friends of mine, no worries k!! LOL.
puzzling though to be married to someone u know only for 4 months. Well, not for me to understand. Pst Tan solemnized the marriage.:) ok that's besides the point. but well, i'm truly happy that his long awaited moment has come finally and that he has found his happiness. :)
but i must admit, THAT thought did cross my mind. God, forgive me.

sad

posted by Sharlene Teo Junrong @ 5/03/2008 09:51:00 PM

"But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, That I may declare all Your works." Psalms 73:28

-Visions & Dreams-

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